Gains and Losses
by wideopeneyes
Summary: Young Rikku is sent to stay with Gippal's family briefly upon learning that her mother has been killed.


"Why do you only got one eye?" The little girl glared as she posed the question, her chubby arms linked tightly around her stuffed moogle. Seven-year-old Gippal glared right back. 

"I just do. How come you got two?" He was still a little sensitive about his eye patch; he'd gotten into twice as many fights as usual ever since he'd had his little mishap.

"Most people got two. Vydran said he had to rescue you from a Zu once. Did the Zu take your eye out?"

At least she wasn't laughing at him.

"Naw," he said. "It was a cactuar." He'd dodged a good portion of the attack, but he'd still gotten four needles straight to the face. He hadn't really lost the eye, but a thin, milky film had grown over it, and it had scared the other children. His sudran had told him that when he was older, he'd appreciate the eye patch more, but right now it just made him the laughingstock of Home. He'd gone straight from mischief-maker to cautionary tale. Don't be reckless like Gippal, or you'll lose an eye.

"A cactuar? You're too little to leave Home."

Coming from a girl younger than he was, it was galling. He scowled.

"I'm a boy. I can leave if I want to. Girls have to stay home with their sudrans."

Her arms tightened just a little around her stuffed animal. She blinked at him, momentarily stunned, but her face revealed nothing else. Too late, Gippal remembered why the little girl was in his house, with him and his sudran.

"Gippal." Winnet shot him a searing glance. "I raised you better than that."

He shuffled his feet. "Sorry," he mumbled.

The girl looked over his shoulder, to his mother. "Ma'am, may I have some water, please?" she asked.

"Of course, dear." Winnet led her into the kitchen and sat her at the small table. "Is there something you'd like for dinner, Rikku?"

The girl sipped her water. "No, thank you, ma'am. I'm not hungry."

Winnet winced at the nonchalant tone. She suspected it hid a deep hurt, a wounding that a six-year-old shouldn't be bearing alone. "Rikku, do you want to talk? I mean, about your sudran?"

"No, thank you," she said politely. "Sudran got killed today. Vydran got sad. Brother got sad. I got…I got sent away. Vydran says crying don't fix nothing. I guess talking don't either. Sudran's still dead."

Of course Cid wouldn't know how to deal with the pain and loss of his young daughter, who had been so attached to her mother. Of course he'd send her to a woman, someone he felt she could better relate to. He didn't understand that by sending his daughter away he'd done the child a terrible disservice. She needed her family, she needed her father's comfort. He'd succeeded only in making the poor girl feel abandoned and unloved.

"How'd your sudran die?" Gippal, in typical boy fashion, latched onto a sensitive subject with all the grace of a rampaging chimera.

"Don't know. Vydran just said she got killed and Keyakku was gonna take me here for a while." She lowered her eyes to the stuffed animal on her lap. "Keyakku gave me this moogle. He's nice to me sometimes. He was nice to me today. Probably just 'cause Sudran's dead, though. Mostly people are only nice to me because Cid's my vydran."

"Honey, I'm sure that's not true." Winnet set her hand on Rikku's shoulder sympathetically. No child should have such heavy thoughts at her age.

"The boys say it all the time. I'm a girl, so they don't let me play with them." She looked up at Winnet. "I bet I could hit just as hard as they could."

"Could not." Gippal folded his arms. "Girls aren't as tough as boys are."

"Are too." Rikku glared.

Gippal wasn't used to _girls_ arguing with him. "Are not."

"Are _too_."

Winnet watched, amused, as Rikku slid off the chair, leaving the stuff animal behind.

"Are _not_." He looked down his nose at her, secure in his certainty that if the other boys couldn't deck him, there was no way a _girl _could.

---

Rikku had given Gippal a black eye. He had one good eye left, and Rikku'd ringed it with a purple bruise. He'd been surprised by her quick right hook, and she'd knocked him flat on his butt. Winnet had chastised her for hitting him, but none too harshly, as she'd quickly assured Rikku that Gippal had deserved what he'd gotten.

So he sat at the dinner table, sulking and pressing a cold cloth to his face as Rikku picked at her supper. He had a grudging respect for her and her fists, and he didn't relish the idea of getting punched again. Of course, he assured himself that the first one had been a lucky swing. She wouldn't get the better of him again. He'd be on his guard.

"Ma'am, I'd really like to go to bed now," she said suddenly, pushing her chair back from the table. "If that's okay, I mean."

Gippal stopped sulking. "But it's only eight o'clock."

"Sudran…" Rikku faltered. She clutched her moogle doll, rubbing its delicate wings. "Sudran said eight o'clock was my bedtime. I reckon it still is, even if she's dead."

"That's just fine, honey. Why don't you go wash up while we set up your bed, okay?" Winnet cleared away the plates as Rikku headed towards the bathroom. "Gippal, would you help me with Rikku's bed?"

"First I gotta share my room, and now I gotta do all the work?" Gippal frowned as he hopped off his chair. "She even _hit _me. You woulda grounded me for that."

"If you worked half as fast as you talk, you'd be done already, kiddo." Winnet thrust a bundle of covers into his arms. "I'll get out the futon. You can put the sheets on it."

Gippal grumbled all the way into his bedroom. He'd even had to _clean _it, since his mother had said it was in a disgraceful state and not fit for keeping company. He didn't see why the opinion of a snotty little girl had mattered so much.

He spread the sheets over the small mattress, tossing down a pillow and flinging a blanket haphazardly over it.

"Thank you."

He turned a little – the bratty girl was in the doorway. Probably she'd been watching him make the bed. It irked him that she hadn't offered to help.

"Thank you," she said again, "for sharing your room with me. And for making my bed. And for letting me stay." For a minute he thought he might've seen a bright sheen of tears in her eyes. She hesitated. "I'm sorry I hit you," she said finally.

His mother came up behind her, waiting to hear what he would say in response. Rikku hadn't noticed her yet.

"It's okay," he said. "You hit like a girl, anyway."

Her cheeks flushed angrily. "Do _not_!"

"_Children_," Winnet admonished, setting a hand on Rikku's shoulder. "It's time for bed. No more bickering."

"Aw, Sudran." Gippal groaned. "Me, too?"

"You, too. Hop to it." Winnet ushered Gippal into the bathroom with a pair of pajamas, and then tucked Rikku into bed. She brushed back the soft blonde hair from the child's face with a tender hand. "It'll get easier," she said softly. "You won't ever forget, but it'll get easier to bear."

"I don't wanna forget," Rikku replied. "I don't ever wanna forget my Sudran. I love her." She winced. "I _loved _her," she corrected.

"Oh, Rikku." Winnet sighed. "People die, honey, but love never does." She smoothed away the little worry lines creasing Rikku's forehead. "Your Sudran was a good friend of mine. She was more a sister than a friend, really. I know my son hasn't been the easiest to get along with, but you will always be welcome in our home, Rikku."

"Thank you." She yawned. "Sorry I hit Gippal. It wasn't very nice," she admitted.

"Go to sleep, honey," Winnet chuckled. "I'm sure he'll get over it."

Obediently, Rikku closed her eyes and turned her cheek against the pillow.

Gippal entered a few moments later, while his mother was humming softly, rubbing Rikku's back. She appeared to be asleep.

"All right, I'm ready," he said grumpily. His bedtime was usually at whatever time his mother wrestled him into bed, and he wasn't at all pleased with being ordered to bed just because his temporary roommate had gone to sleep.

"I love you." Winnet kissed her sulky son, who grudgingly returned the phrase. He climbed into his bed, settling in for the night. Winnet stroked her son's hair. "You be good," she said, "and I'll make you pancakes tomorrow morning."

He eyed her shrewdly. "With chocolate chips?"

"With chocolate chips," she agreed.

"Okay, then." He turned over. "Night, Sudran."

---

Sometime during the night he awoke when he heard a soft whimpering sound. The nightlight in the corner shed pale light across the floor, washing the futon in a soft glow. He could just make out Rikku, curled into a tiny ball, shoulders shaking. He threw off the covers, padding silently across the floor to the mattress, and touched her shoulder. She jerked in surprise.

"Hey, Rikku, are you crying?" He whispered.

"No," she denied at once. "Only babies cry."

"That's stupid," he replied. "When my vydran died, I cried."

She flipped around, eyes wide and red-rimmed. "You did?"

"Yeah. It's okay to cry when you're sad. It hurts not to, don't it? In your tummy, and in your chest, it feels like something's squeezing you real hard." He knelt down beside the mattress. "I bet your sudran would be sad if you hurted because you didn't cry just so you wouldn't look like a baby."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded resolutely. He felt a strange sort of kinship with the girl sharing his room. They'd both lost a parent, they'd both suffered for their loss. He was older. He'd have to take care of her. It was his duty.

"My sudran…" she took a deep, shuddering breath. "My sudran took care of me. My vydran goes away a lot with my brother. My sudran teached me to fight and…and she'd take me out to the desert and teach me magic spells and teach me how to find food and…and she protected me." A couple of tears spilled over her cheeks. "Vydran'll keep going away with my brother. I don't got no one to teach me things anymore. I don't got no one to protect me."

He fished her hand from beneath the blankets. Her fingers clutched his as though they were a lifeline, the only thing she could cling to in a world threatening to sweep her away.

"I'll protect you," he said.

She blinked. "You will?"

He nodded. "I'm older than you, so I know more stuff. I'll protect you."

She snorted. "You're not _that _much older. What stuff do you know?"

"I know another language."

She cocked her head. "There's another language?"

"Yeah, it's called Spiran. Everybody else in Spira speaks it. My vydran spoke it. He taught me." He shifted down, laying on the carpeted floor beside the mattress. He tugged her blanket towards him, slipping under it. "I'll teach it to you, if you want."

"Okay." She wiped away her tears. "That sounds like fun." She yawned. "I'm really sorry I hit you. You're not so bad after all."

He laughed. "I'll teach you to hit harder," he assured her. "If the other boys make fun of you, you can just hit 'em, and they'll shut up."

Her eyes lids started to droop, though her fingers still clutched his.

And in the morning, when Winnet crept in to wake them up, that was how she found them, Gippal sleeping on the floor beside the thin mattress, Rikku still clasping his hand tightly.


End file.
